Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Misery, Oh Sweet Misery

People tend to find being miserable as a way of living deeply. Deeper than what the other faceless masses of the world are accustomed to. We often announce our pains zealously, even competing with each other about who's more miserable. It makes our personality more 'intense' and 'sensitive' to the abhorrent ways of the world. You can't make yourself happy, but making yourself miserable is an easy task.

Misery can feel satisfying in a hollow, selfish sort of way. The times when I'm sad are also the times I'm really cynical to other people. You can see everyone's faults, even your own. But that brutality has a sense of gratification. I've often felt that cynicism is an attribute of the smug. You silently announce to the world that you know better than their rosy-eyed naive outlook. You know that things are worse than these people think, that only you can observe them. You hold people up to ridiculously high standards, believing that you're just being honest.

When you're feeling miserable, you're taken care of. Everyone listens to you and tries to pitch in. After all, who would want to hurt a sad person? But being happy does not provide the same compassionate sympathy. It's easier for people to forget you when you're happy and in your own world. When you're miserable, you're aware of your existence.

The society exists on misery. Misery is a great investemt.  -Osho

People always want an adversity to overcome, to have a struggle of their own. Something that brings them pain but the satisfaction of making a difference - whether in their lives or the world. But being sad provides a quasi-happiness. You create your own problems to overcome and then go looking for a solution to them.

Most people don't like silence, but what's worse than the lack of any auditory signals to your ears is the silence inside you. And that's terrifying, not being able to feel anything, not even sadness. And so you start believing being miserable is inevitable, so why not get on par with it? Misery feels safe. It is better than feeling a tidal wave of unfamiliar emotions.

Misery gives you a self published identity. A boundary between the world and yourself, something you can insulate yourself within.So you latch onto this false identity because without it, you're just another nobody. Another faceless person among the masses. It gives you problems to solve, even if they are self created.

Feeling cynical and being sad can make you think that you're being honest. But people are not thoughtless victims of an oblivious society. Being content or keeping a positive attitude doesn't make you yet another sheep without an identity. Hating and raging against the world is a waste of time if there is no cause.

There is no deep, dark, intrinsic value in everything, waiting to be found by the special broken ones. Misery is a self-feeding emotion that can lull you into thinking you're special but emotional pain is not the only way to distinguish 'you' from a horde of 'others'. Misery is but another weapon in our self-sabotaging arsenal.


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