Telling Victims To Grow Up - Is Stephen Fry Correct?

Recently, Stephen Fry said something extremely offensive and detrimental to the countless people who've been victims of abuse. It shocks me that something like that can be allowed on national television. And now the media is in uproar over his remarks for sex abuse victims to "grow up and get over it"

Let's read what this grotesque monster said in The Rubin Report

You get some of my sympathy but your self-pity gets none of my sympathy because self-pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity.

 How dare he say something so offensive and invalidat-wait, that doesn't sound very offensive to me. Then what is all the SJW uproar about? He goes on to say

Get rid of it because no one's going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. The irony is we'll feel sorry for you if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Grow up

I can't help but feel that media has lied to me. His words, pretty tame in themselves, are words of truth and wisdom. It's hard to say you don't agree with the victim in today's politically correct culture, but take a long moment and think if this is the culture we should be propagating.

Self pity is a disastrous thing. It is a blackhole that consumes everything around it, except itself. It destroys relationships, lives, but more than anything, it destroys the  respect in yourself. And that is an enormous disservice to yourself. Don't throw a big man tantrum hoping to get what you want, even if it works sometimes.

Telling someone to grow up isn't invalidating their experiences, it is telling them to move past things that are not important enough to keep looming over. Like stopping yourself from  picking a scab isn't disbelieving the existence of the wound. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You pick yourself up, and you keep going

You cannot allow yourself to fall into a feedback loop where you feel sorry for yourself, get down, and feel sorry for yourself for being down. I believe that while everyone is busy missing the point of Fry's words, smarter people can listen to his real advice and in return, improve their lives.

Grow up. Confront your past. Defeat your demons.


You can watch the entire interview here: